This is how much I love you

  Do you know how much I love you? I'll try to put it into words.

  I love you so much I would only shoot you once, right in the heart.

  I love you so much if your head fell off I would keep it, and brush the hair out of your face as I put flowers in your eye sockets.

  I love you so much if they hung you from a bridge I would hit you with a wooden stick instead of a metal pipe.

  I love you so much I would stab you in church only when we said "Amen."

  I love you so much I'll dress you in the nicest dress when you're being a scarecrow.

  I love you so much I'll only hate you instead of being indifferent.